An Observation of Time

First let me apologize for this one being slightly later than normal; I like to post every week, but sometimes days get away from me.

Usually because of work, which I don’t mind, some-days, others, well A Few Good Men. Though I am proud that no customer, unless they deserve it, has every seen me loose control. Because it’s easier to be nice to people; especially if they are angry, cause it pisses them off.

You know, customer service, and how you can get back at bad customers.

But I am side tracking myself.

Though it does tie what I have been thinking about. During kindergarten through twelve grade, time, and by that months, years, seemed to inch by.

School seemed like it would never end.

And then I hit college, and everything sped up, drastically. Years seemed to just fly by.

And mayhaps that was because I was enjoying myself, I was fitting in, college was where I finally found who I wanted to be and I have been moving towards who that is ever since.

Then I graduated.

When years didn’t just fly they vanished, and I slowly spiraled downwards, to a point so low, that who I am now has completely changed.

The near overwhelming crushing sensation of 2010 to 2013, sadly nearly broke me.

I felt like I was wasting my life, that all my college was going to a waste as I drifted from one customer service job to another. That all I wanted to due was create, films, books, anything really.

It took meeting new friends, and reconnecting with what I loved at the beginning of college to start taking steps forwards.

And then one day I realized something, something that became a solid thought in my head, something that I knew for truth.

I am only thirty.

Now what that means, is that even if I live to the age most of the males in my family have reached; though I plan to surpass that; which is between 80 and 90 years old.

I am thirty currently.

Roughly I have fifty years to work on my books and my career. And I have had two two accidents that I walked away from with, what amounts to scratches. I was lucky, and I am aware that in a heart beat I could be extinguished like a flame of a candle.

But I still have time.

That doesn’t mean that I am wasting it, I work nearly everyday, though dealing with people can and does burn me out, which has a negative effect on my writing. I am steadily moving towards my goal, with no doubt that I will achieve it.

And that has had this effect on how I experience months and years.

Sometimes they can fly right by, and I don’t notice it, but others, I notice, and enjoy the slowness of it. I don’t feel pressured to rush anything, I breath freely as I work on my books and comic novella.

Or even the new Star Wars Saga Game I am DM. (D20 RPG System for those not sure what Saga is.)

My life is not escaping my grasp. Not that I have mastery, but in pockets of slowed time, I can enjoy just being.

And that is something that I feel has left our society in a way.

Just standing still and enjoying being.

Yes we are all dying, but it’s not a race, especially if you are around my age.

We have time.

And yes, carpie diem and all that, but sometimes taking a moment to smell the roses allows you to appreciate just living.

And who knows, perhaps that is the key to happiness. Not fighting how fast time will flow by you, but just enjoying when it slows down for you to catch your breath.

Being bored is not a bad thing.

Not having anything to do is sometimes a gift. Especially in our world that is always in a rush to get somewhere.