13 Gears Revelation

So I just wanted to take a quick break from my normal movie reviews of this month, which has spanned from January into this month, and more than likely into next month as well, to talk about a revelation I had at a local, well local-ish con.

The name of which is, 13 Gears, and it’s a Steampunk convention up in Minneapolis. Which just a brief run down of my experience, it was the first time that I sold books by myself out of all the members of Dirty Rotten Flyboys. It was a bit hard, mainly because of the lack of sleep I had before the start of the convention, and the lack of food. For this reason, I say god bless the Girlscouts, the box of cookies I bought kept me going on day one. It had music, it had great vendors, other than me, and it had some great independent authors that I hung out with.

I love steampunk, which I am writing it for Canvas Skies, which is so enjoyable on many levels. I get to play with history, well at the same time studying history and learning more about what happened in the time period I am writing. It’s been a great time.

And the second day of 13 Gears, I believe some of the staff or people who knew the staff made paper airplanes, which ended up being played with by some of us vendors, and a family with two girls. Who made up for their throwing ability with their enthusiasm. It was very laid back and overall fun.

Now what I realized while there, selling books is what is truly happening this year during the convention season. Back in the day, 2004, the first convention I ever went to was Anime Detour. It was a fantastic experience, I believe I was still in high school or at least first year of collage, though it was spring of 2004 so I should still have been in high school. I was almost a religious experience, I found a place were I could truly be myself. In fact I eventually described it as going to Mecca.

For a kid who never really felt he belonged in K-12, despite having friends, finding a place where I felt like I belonged was almost magical. Flash forward a couple of years, and I graduated from Moorhead State with a degree in Film Making, with a minor in Philosophy. Just in case I wanted to work in one of the many Philosophy factories.

And with this degree I entered the ‘real’ world…and didn’t really do anything creative, and everything I tried to do with my degree failed. At this point I had missed a couple of years of Anime Detour, one because I was focusing on my senior project, the other was because I had sort of fallen out of all the things I had loved in college. I was just to rushed trying to pay for bills, that I was over worked and highly stressed out. Then I sort of became adopted by a new friend group because of D&D, and they convinced me to go to it again. Things had changed, it was no longer at the Thunderbird, it was at the Double Tree. It had grown in my absence. However it still felt the same way it had when I first went in 2004. It was what I had needed to revitalize how I was feeling.

It was also where I decided to get back into writing. Mainly because of two of the guests, J. Michael Tatum and Chris Ayres. And while Chris Ayres has been there after that, J. Michael Tatum has not. On the note of Chris Ayres, to just break into my own thoughts here, and I know this is a bit cliché, but I really do wish him a speedy recovery and return to his normal routine. His absences at the conventions I attend, where he would normally be, is felt. At least by me and my friends.

The other thing I decided that year, was that I would one day be a guest at Anime Detour as a writer. 2012 was truly a turning point in my life. I had a goal again, I wasn’t just drifting around trying to find something to do creatively.

Then the next year, I bought a sponsor badge, which gave me access to the staff green room (it’s actually called something else, but it’s essentially what it is. It’s where convention goers can go to get a small snack, the staff and sponsor green room just had better food.) and I meet Jeff there. He works staff, and we started to talk, about history…for three hours. We just sat there an nerded out about all the fascinating events that have happened. Then he pitched me his idea, Canvas Skies, and now it’s six years later. Vol 1 through 3 are currently out, with 4 and 5 right around the corner, and 6 half done. And our team are now Featured Artist at the convention…and J. Michael Tatum will be back this year…

And I don’t know if I could ever truly describe what I am feeling now, or how I will feel there in the moment…

Though, I wager it will be tired, exhilarated, and thrilled if it’s like last year when I was just a dealer, (and to be fair it’s what I normally feel at other conventions as a dealer. There is just something about selling my books at conventions that is almost nirvana-like.)

But right now, the closest thing would be awestruck at how this all seems to be coming together…

And this is not trying to knock other conventions, I enjoy going to every one I have attended, though there are some that I felt could be better, I would rather not dwell on the negative. Total wise I believe that we’ve been to 37 or 38 now, and each one has been a blast. I love travelling, I love seeing other states, even if it’s just the areas around the Interstate Highways.

But Anime Detour was the first convention I went too, it was the first one that I felt like I belonged to a group. I have many found memories of going there, and I mean, again, I equated it to a religious experience, and I sort of still do. Or at least that feeling.

To say that I am looking forward to it, is an understatement. I think the best way to put it, is that I feel eighteen again, and I am going to my very first convention.

Like I tell people, and I know everyone does say it, but failure is not failure. Giving up is failure. There were so many times that I felt crushed, broken, and just wanted to give up and just stop. Even recently, last year when I didn’t have a job, and it’s okay, feeling that way is fine. But if I had given up, and not worked toward the goal I will complete this year, then I would not be doing something that I love this much. That is my biggest piece of advice, just don’t give up, power through. Success overnight is not the norm, success through hard work, determination, and never giving up is.

That’s were I will leave it though, I just wanted to share a thought I had at 13 Gears.